Monday, March 3, 2014

Today is the Day!

For the last week or so, I've been waiting for this day. 

I've been counting down until that day that I will finally have time to get all the housework done. 
The day I can catch up on all my reading (who on earth can actually read 650 pages in a week of anything other than Harry Potter?!). 
The day I can finally clean the little pieces of cardboard scattered around my floor up and not expect Hadley (my adorable and hellish Australian Shepherd puppy) to chew something else up in its place.
The day I can vacuum without being barked at.
The day I can brew (and drink) a whole pot of coffee in silence and at my own pace.

I've been waiting for this day...the day when I would take my sweet Hadley to be spayed.

But I woke up this morning, surrounded by ice, watching the snow fall outside (which really sucks when one's dog refuses to go to the bathroom on snow or ice). I actually boiled a cup of water to pour on the grass so said puppy would have an unfrozen patch of ground to do her business on. This is dedication, people. Before I even got out of bed, I was no longer excited for this day, because I'm leaving this annoying and wonderful fur-baby of mine in the hands of someone else, and I won't be there to scold said human when they aren't doting on her like they should. Also, she is going to be cut open. I don't like that part, either. At all.

I'm a mess. 

I probably won't get most of the things done on any of my lists. I will probably spend most of the day worrying about my dog, worrying about not getting things done, and worrying about how I'll finish them during the week after I bring my very dramatic, very poor, very sore baby home at 4PM.

I spend most of my time living like this: waiting for the day I can feel like I've accomplished all I have to accomplish, waiting for the moment I feel like I've got it all together. I wait for tomorrow to do the annoying things on my list, especially if that list involves washing dishes. 

If being environmentally conscious wasn't on my list of things to do, I would switch to all paper products in my kitchen. And if having relatively decent hygiene wasn't the social norm, I would stop doing laundry. I mean, does it ever end?!

I'm not quite sure how to be better about all this, but I'm trying. 

I think that instead of thinking that "today is the day I'm going to get XYZ accomplished so that I can cross them off my lists," I'm going to start reminding myself that "today is the day that I'm going to embrace as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to live life in yellow."

So...

Today is the day that I'm going to embrace as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to live life in yellow. To live life with all the vibrancy it deserves. The vibrancy that God offers. Today is the day I'm going to live life with all of the generosity I can muster. And all the courage I can spare. Today is the day I'm going to spread warmth and caring and the day that I'm going to be ok with wandering from my lists, as long as it's not to the detriment of expressing love for others. Today, I'm going to live boldly and with reckless abandon so that others (who am I kidding? so that I...) can be reminded how freeing it is to live for now and stop waiting for tomorrow.

Tomorrow will take care of itself. 
Thanks for that, Jesus.

I think I like the sound of that. 
Time to get back to my list, which hasn't shrunk (dang it).

Today is the day!

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